Poems - Ricky

It's your dreams,
And your world,
That I wake for,

It's your smile,
And your eyes,
That I breath for,

And it's your smell,
And your touch,
That I'd die for,

I sing to you,
A song,
Like no other,

I look for you,
In the dark,
Waiting to see you,

I feel for you,
Your touch,
Needing to hold you,

And I yell for you,
In the silence,
Just to hear your name,

You're my days,
And Nights,
So I cry for you,

You're my hearts,
Leading path,
So I follow you,

But you've strayed,
Away from me,
And I die for you,

You've left me,
Alone,
And I wait for you,

To see you
Again,
And I sing to you,

But your voice,
I dont hear,
So I sigh for you,

For I know that,
You're gone,
But I love you.

Across a withered state of mind

Across the withered state of mind,
A wind blows cold and dry,
Crackling with glee of evil,
For it knows the thoughts from you to I.

Though hard and mean the thoughts,
I try to push them back,
With little luck at all,
I cry as they attack.

Your meaning is sharp and clear,
It stings as it prevails,
And in my head I hear,
The lies of our twisted tales.

You punch and scream with hatred,
For feelings I have no more,
I once had thought I loved you,
But now im not so sure.

The thought of me scares you,
So you try to send me back,
To the hell which you believe I came,
But your heart is where im at.

I know I see it in your eyes,
You knew the truth before,
Again and again you shunned it,
Only really wanting more.

Time and time I see you,
Like a ghost I walk the streets,
Standing in a shadow,
Praying we once again meet.

Until the day you take hand,
You finally grasp the truth,
I know it hurts, a pain to be,
But for you I try to sooth.

I know the truth may be,
True be beyond compare,
But your not happy I can see,
So to let you go is fair...

I sit alone
in my room of blue.
Waiting for the world
to end in silence.

But it spins
on and on.
Begging me to come out,
out into life.

I sit alone
in my room of blue.
Asking for reason
to live.

But get no reply,
no response.
So I'm left
sitting alone.

I close my eyes,
and pray for the time
someone will enter
into my room of blue.

I can't live,
alone.
I must hold a hand,
and love a soul.

As time passes,
I begin to hate this room.
And I sit alone,
In my room of blue.

Till one day,
There came a knock.
And my door opened,
to reveal a boy.

He reached out to me,
to take my hand.
But reeled back
when he saw me.

For I was gone,
I had escaped.
I no longer sat alone
in my room of blue.

I flew anew,
in the sky of blue.
Like a bird,
with speed and love.

But I made him sad,
that boy who knew,
that I sat alone
in my room of blue.

That's why he came to me,
to help me be free.
But found me white,
as I began anew.

I suppose he cried,
as he held my hand.
But he could have come sooner,
for he always knew.

I can't be sure
he loved me,
for I'll see him not,
because he's done right.

So I begin anew,
to take a fresh start.
And he watches,
from above.

Now it's I
who must find the boy,
who sits alone
in that room of blue.

To hold his hand,
as he passes through.
Then sit alone
in my room of blue.

I sit here writing this poem,

Blaring music in my head,

Waiting for a topic to rise.

But one is here now,

It's on my paper,

And in my heart.

This poem is about poetry,

It's a self examination,

It's about me.

As you read this you think:

"What is this about?"

Well I'll tell you...

This is about my life,

I write these poems to escape,

To build a world of emotion.

But that world is my life,

It's who I am,

And it's no escape, but a trap.

The poetry tells me who I am,

Explains my point in life,

And exposes me to the world.

If you don't understand,

Then you sit and write a poem,

You put your life into words.

People ask who my poetry is about,

I tell them: "No one, funny huh?"

But they're all about me.

They speak my life,

And color my soul,

They express me.

Each word is a memory,

A wish, or a need,

A plea for more.

And you read this with bias,

Because you're not me,

You dont live my poetry.

No you live your own poetry,

You express your own life,

And people criticize you...

But you can't see that,

Because you hide behind your words,

And express your emotions.

The time will come when you realize,

That you are the emotions,

And the words make you.

So as you read this in shock,

disbelief, denile, or anger,

Think about your poetry.

Why do you write?

Is it a hobby, or your life?

Because in final, it's you.

Now I'll finish up with this,

Because I've expresses myself,

To myself. Alone.

If you read this,

You won't get it,

You're not me.

So sit down and write,

Be yourself and show the world.

Because you are alone.

In your poetry you are alone,

You must build your world,

And make your friends.

Because your poetry is your life,

And your life is your expression,

And your expression is your poetry...

You left me,
Alone,
In the woods to die.

I cried to you,
But you'd left,
So I cried alone.

In and out,
I fell,
Unsure of the time.

Till one moment,
I was awaken,
By a pain so sharp and cold.

My breath left
My body,
As I clung to life.

In the darkness
I died,
But was brought to life.

I was cold inside,
But burning alive,
As I reached for the skies.

When I stood
I flew,
I was coming home to you.

When I reached for you
You cried,
For you'd seen me die.

I held you close,
And caressed your skin,
As I pierced your neck.

Your serum warm,
In my throat,
I held you tight.

I could feel you languish,
Colapse in my arms,
Your eyes in a peaceful glaze.

I laid you down
Upon your bed,
And cried into your chest.

For you'd loved me,
And cared,
Then I took your life.

But you'd left me,
Alone,
In the woods to die.

Then I'd come home to see you,
To say I love you,
But you cringed from me.

You didn't love me,
Anymore,
You hated me.

So I had to,
I had to kill you,
You couldn't leave me.

But you did,
You left me,
And it's not my fault.

You could have stayed,
I wouldn't have died,
And you'd still have life.

This is your fault,
And yours alone,
Why'd you leave me?

As the rain falls lightly against my window,

I think about him,

I think about how his smile lights my darkness,

And how his eyes play evasively with my heart.

As the teacher reads from the standardized text,

I think about him,

I think about how his chest rises with his breath,

And how his lips move softly when he speaks.

As I take my seat at lunch,

I look at him,

I look at his back while he eats,

And his face turns when he turns.

As I fall asleep at night,

I speak to him,

I speak to him in the silence,

And I wait for a reply like a fool.

As I cry in the night,

I hate him,

I hate him because I love him,

And if he knew I loved him, he'd run.

So I think about him in darkness,

I look at him in hunger,

I speak to him in the silence,

And I cry for his unknown hatred.

For I love a boy,

And that's not right,

So I must think about him,

In the darkness of my life.

Coming out
From the darkness,
I stepped out slow,
Still not sure,
Who should know.

Should I tell
My mom and dad,
But what if I lose
The life that I had?

I was cold and scared
And full of fright,
As I search in the dark,
For a light.

Nothing came
To hurt me more,
So I step out
And closed the door.

I told mom first,
Late one night,
And almost cried
Because it's alright.

But to tell my dad,
Was hard to do,
And I needed time,
To think it through.

Mom egged me on,
And hinted some,
And it finally happened,
It had been done.

First he was hurt,
That I had hid.
But he loved me,
Because I'm his kid.

So from then on out,
I was surely me,
No longer worried,
Of what could be.

I told my friends,
And enemies too,
And it felt good
The right thing to do.

At first it hurt me,
In middle school
Because being gay
Was so not cool.

But then I realized,
I don't care,
Let them laugh,
Let them stare.

When High school started,
I took the floor,
And made it clear,
I'd have no more.

I'm a person,
Straight or Gay,
And I won't live,
Anymore this way.

This is my life,
Now get your own,
I said my peace,
And I was known.

Then I started
The GSA,
And we've said it loud,
We're here to stay.

So I lead the club,
And we've done fine
Our Day of Silence,
Was huge this time.

I plan to leave,
A message so fine,
On this world,
That I claim mine.

Gay is good,
Homophobia's bad,
And those who dont agree
Can just be mad.

'Cuz I'm not changing,
Just for them,
For all I care,
They can sit and spin.

This is my life,
And I live without doubt,
Because I took the step,
And I came out!

I asked a boy to be my date,

To really show we're not straight.


I wanted to make a scene so fine,

And let people know this life is mine.


I was ready to fight the school for rights,

To take a guy on that special night.


I wanted to take him out to eat,

And pull out his chair as he takes a seat.


I was ready to smile as we eat our meal,

To hold his hand and see how it feels.


I wanted to wait outside in a line so long,

And be nervous to dance to the first song.


I was ready to smile to the cop at the door,

To walk hand-in-hand with my date to the floor.


I wanted to hold him tight as we dance,

And my head on his chest feeling almost entranced.


I was ready to mingle with all of his friends,

To talk, laugh and dance until the very end.


I wanted to walk him up to his door,

And want to leave quick but be glued to the floor.


I was ready to be struck with a beautiful bliss,

As he leans in for that special good night kiss.


I wanted to have a date on that night,

And feel like my life is not wrong but right.


I was ready to cry about the answer I heard,

The boy ruined my night with one single word:


"NO"